Category Archives: Small Talk About Sam

Proverbs 16:24 “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Sam Gator Rolls

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SamSam just got his nails clipped at the vet. The technician said something about him doing gator rolls and screaming when she tried to clip his front paws. Sam thinks she must be exaggerating. He’s never seen an alligator much less rolled like one, well not until today.

Sam says it was a natural defense mechanism that kicked in when he saw the nail clippers in her hand headed towards his front paws. He just lost it.

So Sam’s human got him some pills to help him relax before the next nail clipping session. The pills will help him forget how much he hates getting his nails clipped. The pills will also help him forget everything else…which his human thinks will be entertaining.

Sam thinks humans tend to over react.

 

 

 

Best Doggone Salsa Recipe

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sam-smiles-at-his-clevernessSam doesn’t like salsa. But his humans do and we’ve taken over this blog to share one of our favorite salsa recipes with you. Why did we do this today?  Because summer 2017 is just weeks away and what is summer without salsa?  Not much fun in our opinion!  

Salsa is a staple at Sam’s house. Although Sam has never eaten it, but he has eaten half a tennis ball (Half A Tennis Ball Can Kill You).

Sam’s humans eat it all the time on tortilla chips or rice or salad. We’re as obsessed with salsa as Sam is with playing catch with the tennis ball.

Enjoy the salsa, but sh-sh don’t tell Sam!

Authentic Mexican Salsa

1 can of diced tomatoes

½ red onion-cut into quarters

2 teaspoons garlic powder

1-2 Tablespoons dried red pepper flakes

1-2 teaspoons black pepper

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon Mexican oregano

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

1/4 cup canola oil

3-4 Tablespoons of dried cilantro

Place all ingredients into blender. Blend until chopped and mixed.

Chill and serve.

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                         

 

 

 

 

The Half A Tennis Ball Can Kill You

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Sam has always lived his life on the edge. Recently, he took this to a new level when he ate half a tennis ball. Whether it was from real hunger or boredom, it was a dangerous choice. After several hours, his human owner knew he was in trouble and rushed him to the vet.

Long story short…it all came out in the end.

Sam has been recuperating nicely. He’s getting lots of teary hugs from his humans who thought they’d lost him for good. Sam is enjoying his celebrity.

He plays up his near death experience with deep sighs and distance contemplative stares into space. He’s thinking of writing his memoirs.

Basically, he’s “eating up” the attention. That’s okay with his humans, as long as he isn’t eating up tennis balls.

 

 

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Life On A Leash

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Sam’s best friend and confidant, Mason, is moving.Mason His human owners bought a condo and in just a few days they’ll leave their little apartment here at the farm and head to the city.

Because Sam’s been around the block a few times, he knows what that means for poor old Mason- life on a leash. Mason and Sam are free range dogs. They run and play in the large backyard full of kids, toys and sticks to chew on.

Life’s been free and easy for these two best dog friends. But life as Mason knows it, is about to change. No more wild and free, no more bark till you drop.  Mason and SAm playing

So, in an effort to help Mason adjust, Sam has some suggestions for him…..

Strive for cuteness when you go for a walk

Humans like cuteness,especially in dogs. Perk up your ears and trot happily-humans will stop to pet you and tell your owner how absolutely darling you are. This could come in handy later, especially if you’ve been bad-like accidentally barking at a cat or eating some flowers. Hopefully, the humans at the condo will remember how cute you were and will overlook your offense.

Heel, heel…just heel

Sam says if Mason remembers nothing else, remember what the word “heel” means. Humans like dogs that heel. Sam thinks that humans are control freaks. Human owners tend to say “heel” a lot, probably because they need to know they’re in charge. But Sam suggests that Mason just heel and let the humans get their control fix, it will make his life easier.

Stuff the barking

Humans don’t like barking dogs…they dislike dogs that bark so much they have coined a phrase about their feet-”oh, my barking dogs hurt, Elma.”(say this with a strong southern accent for effect) It’s quite humiliating to be compared to feet so Sam says stuff the barking. Instead choose a short little yap when someone knocks on the front door. Your human owners will be so proud of your guard dog skills. Humans really are easy to please.

Poop like you mean it

Pooping is treated in a very civilized manner in the city. City humans like to pretend that dogs don’t poop-they hide it with a quick clean up strategy. Tidy little green bags are made available on many street corners for your human owners to pick up your poop then throw it away. So, if you need to poop Sam says don’t worry, your human will get rid of it in a flash.

In his generosity, Sam decided to give Mason a going away gift- an 8 by 10 glossy print of himself.  Sam knows that his picture will cheer up poor old Mason when life on a leash gets too rough.

Sam heard politics is a dog eat dog...

Sam is a Minimalist Dog

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Sam is a minimalist dog. He’s never been materialist probably because he doesn’t know what that is, but also because his early life started in an animal shelter. Sam has a good sense of what’s important. He’s wise beyond his dog years.

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Sam keeps his life simple and stress free. His toys include one cow bone, one moose antler and a durable rubber toy bone. Every other toy his humans have brought home, he’s chewed up within minutes, maybe seconds. After all, he’s a minimalist dog-it’s important to keep his stuff to a minimum.

The moose antler is a trendy toy that his humans paid way too much for, but it will last. The cow bone is a classical toy item which Sam’s heard all dogs should have in their toy wardrobe. Rubber bones never go out of style, so he’s set.

His kennel is a light gray color which Sam knows is the new beige. His bed is a deeper shade of gray-not that smutty book-but a perfect coordinating color to match his toffee colored fur coat. Sam may be a minimalist, but he’s still got good taste.

Of course, Sam’s humans take care of all the big stuff like his vet visits and his food. Sam in turn shows his humans appreciation with tail wags and happy dog barks which seem to delight his humans. Sam thinks humans are easy to please, but they’re nice.

Sam wishes all dogs could live life as simply as he does. Life is busy enough with chasing squirrels in the backyard and barking at the joggers running by. What dog wants to keep track of a bunch of toys laying around? Not him.

Of course, Sam knows he shouldn’t be dogmatic in his views… even though he is a dog. He’s happy to relax and chew his moose antler while it’s still trendy.

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Sam Says Never Bite Your Relatives..

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Sam Says Never Bite Your Relatives..

Several years ago, Sam met his brother Kingston(see post on August 29). Their meeting was well, a bit rough, as family reunions are sometimes.

Fortunately for Sam, he has another special relative named Mason, a gray and white haired schnauzer pup. Sam’s not really sure how they’re related, but he’s not worried about the family pedigree and neither is Mason-they just like playing together. Mason lives literally in Sam’s backyard so they get lots of time to play.

When Sam goes outside, he alway stops by Mason’s front door. Sam, being an out-going dog personality type, has no problem “knocking” on the door with his feet. Usually Mason’s humans open the door when they hear the racket knowing it’s just cousin Sam wanting to play.

Since dogs will be dogs, Sam and Mason  wrestle around the yard with pretend biting and growling at each other. They both know it’s fake fighting. They agreed to not bite one another-after all, you should never bite your relatives, no matter how mean they are.