Category Archives: Small Talk About Sam

Proverbs 16:24 “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Life On A Leash

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Sam’s best friend and confidant, Mason, is moving.Mason His human owners bought a condo and in just a few days they’ll leave their little apartment here at the farm and head to the city.

Because Sam’s been around the block a few times, he knows what that means for poor old Mason- life on a leash. Mason and Sam are free range dogs. They run and play in the large backyard full of kids, toys and sticks to chew on.

Life’s been free and easy for these two best dog friends. But life as Mason knows it, is about to change. No more wild and free, no more bark till you drop.  Mason and SAm playing

So, in an effort to help Mason adjust, Sam has some suggestions for him…..

Strive for cuteness when you go for a walk

Humans like cuteness,especially in dogs. Perk up your ears and trot happily-humans will stop to pet you and tell your owner how absolutely darling you are. This could come in handy later, especially if you’ve been bad-like accidentally barking at a cat or eating some flowers. Hopefully, the humans at the condo will remember how cute you were and will overlook your offense.

Heel, heel…just heel

Sam says if Mason remembers nothing else, remember what the word “heel” means. Humans like dogs that heel. Sam thinks that humans are control freaks. Human owners tend to say “heel” a lot, probably because they need to know they’re in charge. But Sam suggests that Mason just heel and let the humans get their control fix, it will make his life easier.

Stuff the barking

Humans don’t like barking dogs…they dislike dogs that bark so much they have coined a phrase about their feet-”oh, my barking dogs hurt, Elma.”(say this with a strong southern accent for effect) It’s quite humiliating to be compared to feet so Sam says stuff the barking. Instead choose a short little yap when someone knocks on the front door. Your human owners will be so proud of your guard dog skills. Humans really are easy to please.

Poop like you mean it

Pooping is treated in a very civilized manner in the city. City humans like to pretend that dogs don’t poop-they hide it with a quick clean up strategy. Tidy little green bags are made available on many street corners for your human owners to pick up your poop then throw it away. So, if you need to poop Sam says don’t worry, your human will get rid of it in a flash.

In his generosity, Sam decided to give Mason a going away gift- an 8 by 10 glossy print of himself.  Sam knows that his picture will cheer up poor old Mason when life on a leash gets too rough.

Sam heard politics is a dog eat dog...

Sam is a Minimalist Dog

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Sam is a minimalist dog. He’s never been materialist probably because he doesn’t know what that is, but also because his early life started in an animal shelter. Sam has a good sense of what’s important. He’s wise beyond his dog years.

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Sam keeps his life simple and stress free. His toys include one cow bone, one moose antler and a durable rubber toy bone. Every other toy his humans have brought home, he’s chewed up within minutes, maybe seconds. After all, he’s a minimalist dog-it’s important to keep his stuff to a minimum.

The moose antler is a trendy toy that his humans paid way too much for, but it will last. The cow bone is a classical toy item which Sam’s heard all dogs should have in their toy wardrobe. Rubber bones never go out of style, so he’s set.

His kennel is a light gray color which Sam knows is the new beige. His bed is a deeper shade of gray-not that smutty book-but a perfect coordinating color to match his toffee colored fur coat. Sam may be a minimalist, but he’s still got good taste.

Of course, Sam’s humans take care of all the big stuff like his vet visits and his food. Sam in turn shows his humans appreciation with tail wags and happy dog barks which seem to delight his humans. Sam thinks humans are easy to please, but they’re nice.

Sam wishes all dogs could live life as simply as he does. Life is busy enough with chasing squirrels in the backyard and barking at the joggers running by. What dog wants to keep track of a bunch of toys laying around? Not him.

Of course, Sam knows he shouldn’t be dogmatic in his views… even though he is a dog. He’s happy to relax and chew his moose antler while it’s still trendy.

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Sam Says Never Bite Your Relatives..

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Sam Says Never Bite Your Relatives..

Several years ago, Sam met his brother Kingston(see post on August 29). Their meeting was well, a bit rough, as family reunions are sometimes.

Fortunately for Sam, he has another special relative named Mason, a gray and white haired schnauzer pup. Sam’s not really sure how they’re related, but he’s not worried about the family pedigree and neither is Mason-they just like playing together. Mason lives literally in Sam’s backyard so they get lots of time to play.

When Sam goes outside, he alway stops by Mason’s front door. Sam, being an out-going dog personality type, has no problem “knocking” on the door with his feet. Usually Mason’s humans open the door when they hear the racket knowing it’s just cousin Sam wanting to play.

Since dogs will be dogs, Sam and Mason  wrestle around the yard with pretend biting and growling at each other. They both know it’s fake fighting. They agreed to not bite one another-after all, you should never bite your relatives, no matter how mean they are.

Sam Scares His Human

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Sam Scares His Human

Sam thinks the human tradition of leaving food gifts at the front door is weird, but he’s not complaining.  He’d never tasted honey whole wheat bread until he found a sweet offering in front of the renter’s front door and gobbled down the entire loaf.

Sam was sucking up the last few crumbs of the loaf when his human found him and panicked. Sam knows that humans scare easily. And he felt bad about scaring his human, but not too bad. The honey whole wheat bread was delicious-nothing like his dog food.

Sam belched and laid down on the grass. The lump of bread in his belly was growing, he couldn’t get up off the ground. This made his human really scared.

Now Sam has observed that when  humans get scared they grab their cell phone. He isn’t sure why, but it seems to make them feel better.  It worked this time, because after looking at the cell phone for a few minutes, his human smiled and threw the ball for him…Sam got up off the ground for that.

Sam thinks humans should stop leaving food at the front door, but not anytime soon. He wants to try honey whole wheat bread again.

Sam, you sweet fella…..