The Puppy Versus The Candidates

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Sam heard politics is a dog eat dog...There’s a stray puppy running around our neighborhood. Some friends texted us to be on the lookout for the pup. Sam wants to rescue that lost puppy…..he’s qualified, you know, since he was a rescue dog himself. If any dog can do it, he can.

So Sam decided to get some ideas from the presidential candidates on how to rescue that puppy.

At first, he thought about building a wall, but decided that wouldn’t work….

He wondered about giving all dogs free obedience classes…but, that didn’t seem like a good way to find the puppy, plus who would pay for all those classes?

Sam knew he’d never sent emails from a private server, so it wasn’t his fault that the puppy ran away and no one could prove it!

He would like to balance the budget­ although he isn’t sure what that means or how to do it.

Maybe he could patrol cat neighborhoods looking for….well, he wasn’t sure what he would look for besides that lost puppy.

Sam hopes someone rescues the puppy soon, because none of the candidates’ ideas seem to be working.

He also hopes the humans can figure out what to do about the presidential election soon because Sam’s heard politics can be a dog eat dog world….and that makes him very nervous.

Sam and Routine Gr-r-r

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Sam can tell time, well…..sort of.

Every afternoon at four o’clock Sam gets hungry. His regular dinnertime is five-his humans keep him on a strict eating schedule-but Sam’s tummy clock tells him he needs to eat.

Sam finds his eating routine irritating and he uses his keenest canine skills to convince his humans he should eat early.

At first, he tries moaning sadly, but this only makes his humans roll their eyes. Then he tries the ” happy dog face” which his humans tend to enjoy, but they still won’t feed him before five.

Growling at the humans really doesn’t work; it just gets him in trouble and sent to bed.

Sam has resorted to pouting, but that’s boring plus no one notices.

Sam poutsPoor Sam thinks routines are mean. If he ever meets a routine, he’ll be sure to bite it.

He ‘s heard that routines can be broken; he’d like to find a way to break his eating routine, but he doesn’t know where his humans keep the darn thing.

Sam’s Selfie

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iPhoto Library sam's selfie

Sam now has a selfie photo. What’s surprising is that he didn’t smile for the camera…… he does that you know.

The other day I took him to the vet to get his nails clipped. When we walked into the office, Sam put his front paws on the receptionist’s counter so he could get a good look around.  As soon as he saw the receptionist-I KID YOU NOT- he gave her a big smile. She squealed with delight and ran over to smother him with hugs.

Sam obviously has the nail technician trained because when she brought him back after his nail trim she frowned and said, “He didn’t smile today.” The poor woman was obviously disappointed that she had missed out. Sam, you big dog.

Sam thinks humans are predictable……but nice.    He plans to take another selfie soon, but first he needs to practice his smile a bit more.

 

 

Sam Lives With A Pack of Humans…..

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Sam lives with a pack of humans. Every dog knows humans are extremely dangerous and hard to control, but Sam is doing the best he can to live with his humans…

Humans can be often downright frustrating.  For instances, one particular human in Sam’s household (we won’t mention any names) likes to rearrange the furniture especially in the main room where Sam hangs out.  Sometimes Sam’s cage gets moved because of the new arrangement.  Sam finds it very frustrating when he’s told to get into his cage and he can’t remember where the darn thing is….

Sam knows that humans should be approached cautiously, especially  little humans who come for a visit. Little humans make a lot of noise and run fast, but usually they taste pretty good when he licks their face.  Sam thinks little humans just need a few obedience classes and they would be great pets.

Sam’s friend, Charlie, lives next door. Charlie is a seven year old Lab mix who has free roam of his two acre property.  Sam and Charlie like to share stories about the crazy things their humans do like accidentally burning a field (definitely dangerous) or falling off a ladder (definitely not smart).  Sam and Charlie agree that it’s kind of nice to have humans around because they’re extremely entertaining.

Sam loves tummy rubs. Sam has mastered the art of falling on the floor on his back at a human’s feet. The human will automatically bend down to rub his tummy–it works every time.  Sam congratulates himself on his ability to teach his humans to obey, without even giving them a treat. Smart Sam…

 

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Sam Can’t Eat Mor Chikin…

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Who would have thought—Sam is allergic to chicken!cone3

Dogs get allergies just like people and these allergies often develop slowly over time. Sam displayed some minor allergic reactions to the environment and because chicken is a common allergy food for many breeds— it safe to say he’s probably allergic to the chicken (a primary ingredient) in his dog food.

Sam has heard that chickens are “fowl” so he’s not surprised he’s allergic to them.

His paws are bright red and itchy–this causes him to lick and chew his feet until they bleed.  He’s had several ear infections which the vet says is due to this same allergy.  Poor baby!

Sam is wearing the “cone of shame” until his feet clear up. He’s also on allergy meds—so he’s sleepy and a little pie eyed.

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Sam says he’s needs lots of extra treats (non-chicken type) to make up for the emotional wear and tear he’s experiencing. He also wants more allergy meds….silly Sam.

The great dog food hunt is on…no chikin or lamb—instead we’re searching for dog foods that contain salmon, fish or beef. Of course, the dog foods with these ingredients tend to be the most expensive, but good ole Sam offered to get a job to help pay for his expensive dog food.

He’s looking for a job as a dog treat taster—no chikin, of course.

Thanks Sam!

Government Shut Down Affects Sam

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In the midst of the government shut down Sam has initiated some cut backs.  He has basically cut back on non-essential commands because they lack funding.  Now, funding for Sam is spelled T-R-E-A-T-S.

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Food is a great motivator for him, but I don’t always give him treats.  He gets praise or tummy rubs instead…but obviously that’s not enough for him. He refuses to talk with us-sort of a “my way or the by way” attitude.

Of course, the government shutdown is to blame (somehow) and although Sam hasn’t revealed his political preferences, he’s heard that politics can be very “dog-eat-dog”…and that makes him very NERVOUS!

Fortunately, he won’t be running for office any time soon….that’s reassuring. We hope the non-essential commands will be reinstated soon- we miss Sam’s tricks and we have the necessary funding ready to go.

Sam Eats the Shepherd

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Sheepish Sam“And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.” (Luke 2:8 )

As many of you know, we had a bit of a tragedy here at our house last week. I’m using the term “tragedy” very loosely of course; it was actually more of a sad episode of death by dog.

We’ve set up our Fisher Price Nativity set during  Christmas season for the past 20 years.   It’s a child friendly plastic set which our six kids played with every Christmas.  The FP nativity always sat in the middle of the living room on our coffee table where it was happily handled and rearranged over and over.

Vintage Christmas Nativity

Many conversations revolved around the nativity and questions often stumped me. For instances:  Why do angels have wings, why does only one wise man have brown skin (thank you Fisher Price for getting this right), why does Mary have her eyes closed and so on… I didn’t always know these answers, but it never seemed to matter too much. We all love the Nativity set.

The nativity survived army men attacks, nerf gun wars, play dough and sticky fingers. Babies chewed on it…we have teeth marks to prove it and one of the members disappeared for a short time, but the FP nativity set  survived it all.   That was until Sam came along…

Sam was extremely nosy about all the Christmas decorations. He sniffed everything.  We finally shooed him off to his kennel so we could finish decorating.  Unfortunately, none of us saw Sam swipe the shepherd as he trotted past the coffee table with the nativity set.

Fifteen minutes later, I found the half eaten shepherd in Sam’s cage with Sam looking rather uh,  sheepish…..pardon the pun.

Shepherd meets his demiseIt’s curious to me why Sam picked out the shepherd. Was it a random act or a purposeful choice?

My guess is that Sam distrusted any nativity guy with a stick in his hand. If I was a dog I think I’d eat that fat little angel with the goofy looking wings, it’s just so unbiblical.

Whatever the reason our  nativity set will never be the same without the shepherd.   I can’t replace the shepherd because the set is obsolete according to the internet….so we’ll just have to live with the fact that Sam ate the shepherd.