Sam Scares His Human

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Sam Scares His Human

Sam thinks the human tradition of leaving food gifts at the front door is weird, but he’s not complaining.  He’d never tasted honey whole wheat bread until he found a sweet offering in front of the renter’s front door and gobbled down the entire loaf.

Sam was sucking up the last few crumbs of the loaf when his human found him and panicked. Sam knows that humans scare easily. And he felt bad about scaring his human, but not too bad. The honey whole wheat bread was delicious-nothing like his dog food.

Sam belched and laid down on the grass. The lump of bread in his belly was growing, he couldn’t get up off the ground. This made his human really scared.

Now Sam has observed that when  humans get scared they grab their cell phone. He isn’t sure why, but it seems to make them feel better.  It worked this time, because after looking at the cell phone for a few minutes, his human smiled and threw the ball for him…Sam got up off the ground for that.

Sam thinks humans should stop leaving food at the front door, but not anytime soon. He wants to try honey whole wheat bread again.

Sam, you sweet fella…..

The Puppy Versus The Candidates

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Sam heard politics is a dog eat dog...There’s a stray puppy running around our neighborhood. Some friends texted us to be on the lookout for the pup. Sam wants to rescue that lost puppy…..he’s qualified, you know, since he was a rescue dog himself. If any dog can do it, he can.

So Sam decided to get some ideas from the presidential candidates on how to rescue that puppy.

At first, he thought about building a wall, but decided that wouldn’t work….

He wondered about giving all dogs free obedience classes…but, that didn’t seem like a good way to find the puppy, plus who would pay for all those classes?

Sam knew he’d never sent emails from a private server, so it wasn’t his fault that the puppy ran away and no one could prove it!

He would like to balance the budget­ although he isn’t sure what that means or how to do it.

Maybe he could patrol cat neighborhoods looking for….well, he wasn’t sure what he would look for besides that lost puppy.

Sam hopes someone rescues the puppy soon, because none of the candidates’ ideas seem to be working.

He also hopes the humans can figure out what to do about the presidential election soon because Sam’s heard politics can be a dog eat dog world….and that makes him very nervous.

Sam and Routine Gr-r-r

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Sam can tell time, well…..sort of.

Every afternoon at four o’clock Sam gets hungry. His regular dinnertime is five-his humans keep him on a strict eating schedule-but Sam’s tummy clock tells him he needs to eat.

Sam finds his eating routine irritating and he uses his keenest canine skills to convince his humans he should eat early.

At first, he tries moaning sadly, but this only makes his humans roll their eyes. Then he tries the ” happy dog face” which his humans tend to enjoy, but they still won’t feed him before five.

Growling at the humans really doesn’t work; it just gets him in trouble and sent to bed.

Sam has resorted to pouting, but that’s boring plus no one notices.

Sam poutsPoor Sam thinks routines are mean. If he ever meets a routine, he’ll be sure to bite it.

He ‘s heard that routines can be broken; he’d like to find a way to break his eating routine, but he doesn’t know where his humans keep the darn thing.

Sam’s Selfie

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iPhoto Library sam's selfie

Sam now has a selfie photo. What’s surprising is that he didn’t smile for the camera…… he does that you know.

The other day I took him to the vet to get his nails clipped. When we walked into the office, Sam put his front paws on the receptionist’s counter so he could get a good look around.  As soon as he saw the receptionist-I KID YOU NOT- he gave her a big smile. She squealed with delight and ran over to smother him with hugs.

Sam obviously has the nail technician trained because when she brought him back after his nail trim she frowned and said, “He didn’t smile today.” The poor woman was obviously disappointed that she had missed out. Sam, you big dog.

Sam thinks humans are predictable……but nice.    He plans to take another selfie soon, but first he needs to practice his smile a bit more.