Sam the Furry Vacuum

Sam is the resident, furry vacuum in his house. It’s a tough job cleaning up all the crumbs dropped by the grand pups, but Sam is ready to the do the hard work.

Sam knows he can’t “vacuum up” until his humans finish with their meal. Then he moves in with the precision of a surgeon picking up scraps as if his life depended upon it. To see him, you’d think his humans didn’t feed him. But according to the vet, his humans feed him too well…he needs to lose weight. Sam is sure the vet is exaggerating about his weight.

Sadly, studies reveal that our dogs are getting fatter. Currently, 45% of all dogs in the U.S. are overweight! Sam, are you listening? Overweight dogs are more likely to get diabetes, arthritis, heart disease, lung problems, high blood pressure and cancer.

With all the crumbs to clean up in his house, Sam wonders who has time for a diet? But Sam’s human knows better. She’s cut back his food just a bit and walks him more. But don’t tell his Sam….

Sam Likes Paw Patrol

Is it any surprise that Sam likes Paw Patrol? Paw Patrol is a popular kids’ show about five rescue dogs that work together to protect their community. Each of the five heroic dogs have special skills that help them in the rescues.

Sam is pretty sure he could be a heroic dog too if his humans would let him.  He thinks his humans underestimate his special skills.Sam's long nose

Sam demonstrated one of his “special” skills recently when he broke out of his fenced in back yard.  He thought it was a pretty cool skill, but his humans were unimpressed.

Now Sam must stay on his leash every time he goes outside. His humans are all grumbly about this….

And so is Sam….

So, he’s decided to use his special skills for good, not evil.  Sam now plays Paw Patrol with his Grandpup. Of course, he knows that,  “no pup is too small” to play with.   Good boy, Sam!

Sam gets instructions on how to play

Sam Breaks Out!

Sam has a fascination with the world outside his backyard. Everything outside his fence looks more fun than everything inside his fence.

Sam's view1

In the past, when Sam got bored, he ran up the playhouse ladder to the wooden landing on top. Like a giant bird, he gazed down on the world below barking occasionally just to let everyone know he was guarding the yard.

Sam also loafed on picnic table looking for crumbs left over from the latest cookout. Sitting up there on the picnic table made it easier for him guard the backyard with little effort.  Needless to say, Sam has an “elevated” view of himself.   sam-smiles-at-his-cleverness

But he took his boredom to a new level recently when he opened the gate and escaped to the world beyond his fence.

Sam’s humans weren’t sure how he’d done it…they speculated that he’d jumped the fence, but Sam would never try to scale a four foot fence. Sam says he’s smarter than that!

It wasn’t until one of his humans actually watched him hit the lock with his paw and pull the gate open that they knew how he’d done it.

Of course, they commented how smart he was, but Sam didn’t get any credit for being smart. He got scolded and sent inside. Sam thinks humans are hard to please. 

So, Sam’s human moved the lock so Sam can’t open the gate anymore. Sam hopes his humans are happy. He’s safely in the backyard….bored to tears, but safe.

                                                               Well, maybe….

Sam Gator Rolls

SamSam just got his nails clipped at the vet. The technician said something about him doing gator rolls and screaming when she tried to clip his front paws. Sam thinks she must be exaggerating. He’s never seen an alligator much less rolled like one, well not until today.

Sam says it was a natural defense mechanism that kicked in when he saw the nail clippers in her hand headed towards his front paws. He just lost it.

So Sam’s human got him some pills to help him relax before the next nail clipping session. The pills will help him forget how much he hates getting his nails clipped. The pills will also help him forget everything else…which his human thinks will be entertaining.

Sam thinks humans tend to over react.

Half A Tennis Ball Can Kill You

Sam has always lived his life on the edge. Recently, he took this to a new level when he ate half a tennis ball. Whether it was from real hunger or boredom, it was a dangerous choice. After several hours, his human owner knew he was in trouble and rushed him to the vet.

Long story short…it all came out in the end.

Sam has been recuperating nicely. He’s getting lots of teary hugs from his humans who thought they’d lost him for good. Sam is enjoying his celebrity.

He plays up his near death experience with deep sighs and distance contemplative stares into space. He’s thinking of writing his memoirs.

Basically, he’s “eating up” the attention. That’s okay with his humans, as long as he isn’t eating up tennis balls.


Life On A Leash

Sam’s best friend and confidant, Mason, is moving.Mason His human owners bought a condo and in just a few days they’ll leave their little apartment here at the farm and head to the city.

Because Sam’s been around the block a few times, he knows what that means for poor old Mason- life on a leash. Mason and Sam are free range dogs. They run and play in the large backyard full of kids, toys and sticks to chew on.

Life’s been free and easy for these two best dog friends. But life as Mason knows it, is about to change. No more wild and free, no more bark till you drop.  Mason and SAm playing

So, in an effort to help Mason adjust, Sam has some suggestions for him…..

Strive for cuteness when you go for a walk

Humans like cuteness,especially in dogs. Perk up your ears and trot happily-humans will stop to pet you and tell your owner how absolutely darling you are. This could come in handy later, especially if you’ve been bad-like accidentally barking at a cat or eating some flowers. Hopefully, the humans at the condo will remember how cute you were and will overlook your offense.

Heel, heel…just heel

Sam says if Mason remembers nothing else, remember what the word “heel” means. Humans like dogs that heel. Sam thinks that humans are control freaks. Human owners tend to say “heel” a lot, probably because they need to know they’re in charge. But Sam suggests that Mason just heel and let the humans get their control fix, it will make his life easier.

Stuff the barking

Humans don’t like barking dogs…they dislike dogs that bark so much they have coined a phrase about their feet-”oh, my barking dogs hurt, Elma.”(say this with a strong southern accent for effect) It’s quite humiliating to be compared to feet so Sam says stuff the barking. Instead choose a short little yap when someone knocks on the front door. Your human owners will be so proud of your guard dog skills. Humans really are easy to please.

Poop like you mean it

Pooping is treated in a very civilized manner in the city. City humans like to pretend that dogs don’t poop-they hide it with a quick clean up strategy. Tidy little green bags are made available on many street corners for your human owners to pick up your poop then throw it away. So, if you need to poop Sam says don’t worry, your human will get rid of it in a flash.

In his generosity, Sam decided to give Mason a going away gift- an 8 by 10 glossy print of himself.  Sam knows that his picture will cheer up poor old Mason when life on a leash gets too rough.

Sam heard politics is a dog eat dog...